Naruto the Man Whose Allergy Is a Total Downer, Please Cure Me!
by fairy tail dragon slayer
Summary: Naruto, open pervert with the fact that he loves the ladies, has an allergy to women. As if things couldn't get worse, his best friend is a woman with a violent temper and a hit first ask questions later attitude. Life is tough for one Naruto Uzumaki. Normal Human Naruto, Naruto-Harem.
1. Chapter 1 My Allergy SUCKS

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Girls Bravo**_  
_**My friend FINALLY returned by Girls Bravo DVDs, so in my excitement after getting them back after 6 months I HAD to make a fanfiction for it with Naruto. Don't judge me!**_  
_**Story Start!**_

"Well hello there again." A young woman with bright pink hair in her young teens said with a small smile on her face. Her long pink hair reaching to the bottom of her bottom, and what a bottom it was. This girl had light colored skin to go with her full figure, even though she was rather short in stature. Her gentle red eyes stared into the water of her bath with a nice gentle expression that screamed naive innocence. Her breasts, those nude balloons of flesh topped with pink tips that matched her hair color, were fully exposed and reflected in the water that she was staring into. This girl smiled even wider as she stared into the water, before she opened her mouth again. "I know we haven't been introduced... what's your name, and whats your favorite food? Most important of all..." The girl spoke gently, in a soft tone that sounded like it came from the throat of an angel sent from Heaven.

The water she was staring in showed the reflection of a young male her age with spiked up blond hair that just didn't stay down, and tanned skin that seemed to have been kissed by the sun itself. His blue eyes were alight with joy, and he seemed to be covered in powder as he stuck his hands inside some kind of bowl that was making puffs of smoke come out of it whenever he did something to it. His cheeks were covered with the item, and even his arms were coated with the white powder, hiding his features slightly.

"... How do I find you?" The girl asked as she touched the surface of the water and the image vanished when the water rippled, almost like it was never there to begin with. She stood up straight again, with her legs being the only thing in the water. She smiled lightly, before she licked the finger that touched the water without thinking about it. She closed her eyes and giggled, before three red dots on her head started to glow bright pink. The dots were arranged in an upside down triangle. With the dots glowing, she looked at the water with a big smile on her face and giggled.

She wanted to meet this person!

_-With the Blond Haired Man-_

"Kneed the dough, kneed the dough, and make it nice and springy." The blond haired man chanted a small song to himself, a song with no real beat or ryhthem to it, as he kneeded the dough inside of the bowl. He was a rather handsome man, despite being rather on the average side of things.

"Hey Naruto Uzumaki! You are doing our chores today!" An average looking high school girl demanded, and Naruto Uzumaki looked up in surprise before he looked over to the girl and his eyes widened for a moment. He chuckled to himself, before he whipped some of the flour from his face to reveal that each cheek had three whisker scars on them. He started top rub the back of his head sheepishly, before he gained a light nervous look to his face.

"Yeah... sure. I'll get right on that after I finish up with this." Naruto said with a sincere smile on his face. The girl just scowled at him, while her friend next to her gained a disgusted look to her face.

"Gross, the loser thinks that his own stuff comes before what we want. Go clean up our classroom you blond freak, and don't miss a spot or your ass is grass!" The girls threatened, and Naruto gained a light depressed look before he looked down at the bowl of dough he was making. The girls didn't seem to care that he was doing something important, but he sighed and started to wash his hands at the Cooking Club sink anyway.

'I'm Naruto Uzumaki, age 16, born October the Tenth. Ever since I was young, my strange looks have always gotten me picked on by everyone. I have trouble saying no to people when they ask me to do things... and as a result the girls have always taken advantage of me. I want to say no to them.' Naruto thought as he talked to himself in his head to get himself slightly depressed over how he could never say no. 'Overtime, I learned to refuse men and fight them back... but when I was young I got beaten up by a lot of girls, and over the years I even gained an allergy to them. If a girl even so much as touched me, I break out in hives.' Naruto finished his own thought as he packed up his things, being the only member of the Cooking Club was certainly an advantage in this case.

Many of the girls stopped picking on him when the years went by, because he had hit a growth spurt and stopped being puny when he had turned 15.

Most girls, but not all girls.

He cursed his allergy, he really cursed it to hell. He was a straight hot blooded male, and he couldn't even lay his hands on any object of his affections because of this. Over time, he had learned to just put up with it.

He had learned to do things without complaining, and then just go home and start practicing his cooking and make himself some great food. That was where he found his true enjoyment, in cooking. Naruto smiled to himself, before he packed up his things and started to leave the school without even trying to go and clean the classroom for the girls.

Today... today he felt like something good was going to happen.

He didn't know what, but he was sure that something good was going to happen to him when he got home today. He had felt it all day, starting at when he was practicing cooking this morning in the kitchen at his place.

Naruto whistled a tune to himself as he walked back to his home, a house he pretty much owned at this point in time. Naruto smiled up at the sun, before he reached up with his right hand and clenched it shut with a grin on himself. He liked to believe that he did pretty well for himself despite everything bad that happens to him, and his general bad luck with women thanks to his allergy. Honestly, most of the time Naruto had an automatic fear of women thanks to years of abuse, but today he felt pretty good about himself. He was happy today, something that didn't happen enough these days.

He hadn't felt like this in two years, when his parents died.

His parents were Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki, and even though they never officially married each other, they were a very happy family. That happiness was ruined two years ago when his parents had died in a car accident, and he had been left with everything. They weren't rich by any means, but Naruto had gotten an already paid off house all to himself and his godfather sent him money on a regular basis so that he could maintain his lifestyle. Saving up that money was up to him, and using it wisely was something he had learned how to do a long time ago.

It was a hard life at first, but Naruto had learned quickly how to take care of himself. He did his own laundry, cooked for himself every day, and cleaned the house as well. He had picked the school he went to because it was close to his home, and also close by the college she one day wanted to go to. He made sure that everything was within walking distance so that he could make his life easier by not needing to buy a car in the future, and add those to his bills, and gas expenses.

'I wonder what I should have for dinner tonight? Maybe some lightly fried soba, and a side of miso soup... naw, I am feeling good today. Today I am going to have some Yakizakana and Tonkatsu, maybe a side of Yakiniku.' Naruto thought with a deep smile at the different meat based dishes he was going to be cooking himself tonight after he freshened himself up. He could feel the flour on his body, and he would like to wash it off before he started to cook a new dish.

He felt a little giddy at how he was allowing himself a rare treat, since he usually kept his money on a tight leash he rarely allowed himself to eat the good stuff like this. He wanted to save up enough so that he could go to college even if he didn't get the chance to go for free. He had only three more years before he applied for college, so he needed to save up as much of his money as possible. Treating himself like this, was a very rare thing. Not to mention that most part time places wouldn't hire him because his allergy made it difficult to deal with half of the clients of customers. That was why Naruto had a dream where he wouldn't need to deal with clients on a regular bases.

Naruto wanted to become the top chef in Japan, and to do that he needed to get as good as possible and get into the cooking school of his choice.

Naruto opened the gate to his house, a modest five bedroom and one bathroom home with both an upstairs and downstairs. It was the average house, with nothing really special about it other the fact that only one person lived in it.

"Time to get cleaned up." Naruto said with a smile, knowing that home was the only place where he could just be himself and lighten up. He had long since gotten used to being alone, so coming home to an empty house was normal for him. With a small smile he started to go towards the only bathroom in his home. Naruto opened the door to the bathroom, before his eyes started to widen when he saw the form of a fully nude girl using one of his towels to dry her breasts off. The girl was a little bit taller than Naruto himself, but she ranged in the above average scale on that area, as did she range FAR above average in the beauty department. Her brown hair went down to the middle of her neck, but that wasn't as important as her surprised brown eyes started started to turn into angry eyes.

'This... is my childhood friend, and part of the reason I am allergic to girls.' Naruto thought as he looked at her naked large breasts and slim waist, just before a fist collided with his nose so hard that he jerked back and he went crashing into the wall with blood gushing from his surprisingly not broken nose.

"Naruto you freaking idiot, why do you keep peeping on me!?" The girl shouted, and Naruto looked away with a very small smile on his face.

'Yeah, this is Kirie Kojima, and while she may seem like a bitch with a fine body at first glance, underneath she is a true friend... a true friend with monster strength, anger issues, and a punch first ask questions later attitude.' Naruto thought as red dots started to appear on his skin, his allergy acting up at the fact that she touched him in the face with her bare skin. Kirie wrapped the towel around her breast and waist, even though it barely covered either of them with her sexy figure straining the small towel.

"Well, aren't you going to answer me you peeping tom!?" She asked with annoyance in her voice.

"Aren't you going to tell me why you are using my bath... again?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow as he stood up straight and started to scratch at his face, thanks to the allergy he was freaking itching like nuts. His allergy was by no means life threatening, but it was amazingly annoying to deal with, so he avoided physical contact with females, even if that meant he had to put up with their crap. Kirie started to shake with her fists clenched in front of her, while Naruto dusted himself off.

"I am pretty sure that I damn well told you the bath at my house broke, and I don't want to go to the public bath. You live next door, and we have been friends for like ever, so being the almost decent guy you dream of being, said I could use your bath whenever I wanted." Kirie commented, and Naruto tilted his head in confusion for a second before he placed his hand on his chin in thought. He had absolutely no memory of every agreeing to that, but he must have done iot because Kirie had never lied to him before.

In retrospec, he MIGHT have been distracted by her boobs when she had asked. Allergy or not, he was a hot blooded male that admired the female form, even if he couldn't physically admire it without causing a bad reaction.

"I might have been distracted by your boobs when I agreed." Naruto stated firmly, knowing just what was going to happen when he said it. If he was going out anyway, then he was going to do it like a man. He would go down looking at her body, and hoping for the towel to slip off. Naruto's train of thought stopped though when he heard her cracking her knuckles and he saw the absolutely scary look on her face when she looked at him.

"I see... then you can ogle my boobs... IN HELL!" Kirie shouted, and Naruto jumped out of the way when her fist put a hole in his wall. He gulped with wide eyes, and he started to run like a madman.

Fuck dying like a man, it was time to run like a pussy!

"Ninja Art: Run-Like-A-Bitch-Jutsu!" Naruto shouted as he jumped and rolled on the ground when she aimed a kick at him, before he realized that he had trapped himself in the bathroom with her, while he was currently on the floor with his stomach to the ground, looking up at her with a small amount of blood still leaking out of his nose. Naruto hopped up to his feet in a crouched position when her foot landed on the spot his head was going to be.

"Take your beating like a man Naruto!" Kirie shouted, and Naruto gulped when he saw that she had shattered the tiles with her bare foot alone.

"And get hit by that, not thanks, but I would rather not get hit by that. I might actually die." Naruto said with a small amount of amusement. Like he had said before, he had long since learned just to put up with people's crap with a smile on his face.

That smile, was knocked right from his face when his childhood friend's knee collided with his nose... and then that smile returned when he got the perfect look up at the towel and at her private feminine parts.

'Suddenly worth it agin... FUCK THIS HURTs! Not worth it! Totally not worth it!' Naruto thought when he was sent flying, and landed right into the water of the bathtub.

SPLASH!

"Go be a pervert IN HELL!" Kirie shouted, expecting Naruto to come out of the water moments later and start cursing her out for hitting him in the face yet again. This was pretty normal for the two of them, he might be allergic to girls, but he was still a bit of a pervert, and he was extreme trouble keeping his mouth shut about what he was thinking. He was the most resiliant guy she knew, and could take a punch much better than he could throw one. He just got back up no matter how hard she hit him, so she assumed that he would be able to get up from no matter what she did, so she was a bit more open with her anger when it came to him.

...

Nothing, there was no splash of water and the sound of Naruto cursing as he covered his mouth in pain. No body floating in the water. Finally, there was nothing to even show that Naruto had even been in the water.

"Naruto?" Kirie asked with a growing frown on her face when she went to the edge of the water and looked down.

Where the hell was Naruto?

_**Chapter End!**_  
_**Next: Naruto the Man Whose Allergy Is A Total Downer, Please Cure Me!**_  
_**Please Leave Me Lots Of Nice Long Reviews, But No Flames Please!**_


	2. Chapter 2 Seiren

_**Disclaimer: First Chapter**_  
_**Story Start!**_

SPLASH!

"Fucking CUNT that hurts! Fuck, bitch, ASS! Kirie, are you trying to shove my nose into my brain damnit!" Naruto cursed like a sailor on a ten year stint at sea when he popped out of the water. He was sure that his nose was bleeding like crazy, both for being able to see his attractive friends goods, and her freaking kneeing him in the face hard enough to dent two inch thick steel, or at least that was what it felt like when he was sent flying by his violent friend. Naruto rolled around in the water holding his nose, before he heard the sound of giggling and sat up straight.

"Hehehe, your funnier in person." A very hot, and very naked, pink haired girl said as she watched him on her hands and knees in the water. Naruto's eyes widened, before his eyes trained down to the massive amount of cleavage that this girl had on her. Those pink tips with water dripping from her body. Water dropped from her chin, before it landed on her boob and started to trail down towards the middle of her chest. A grin worked its way onto his face, before Naruto started to take deep breaths.

'I love you so much right now, you knocked me out so hard that I am having a flipping AWESOME dream right now.' Naruto thought with a manly tear going down his eye at the pleasure of being knocked out hard enough for him to start dreaming about carnal desire. Naruto looked at the girl in front of him, before he started to reach out to grab her breasts. If this was a dream, then he was going to DAMN well enjoy every second of this dream like he was meant to. He couldn't do this in real life, so he would have to make do in the dream realm for now. As he reached out to touch her, she too reached out and touched the side of his face before he could enjoy feeling her up. This girl, her face lit up with delight when she saw that he was real, before she jumped.

"I can't believe you are here! I wanted to meet you in person for so long now!" The girl shouted in joy as her chest smothered Naruto's face, and he entered a state of bliss with his face being placed into the two softest pillows of all time. It was like all of his hopes and dreams had filled these breasts, making them more perfect than any pillow on Earth.

'I must be dreaming... or very very dead, because no allergy.' Naruto thought in bliss as his hand went up to grab her chest, but he stopped when the middle of her chest bumped his nose and he felt a stab of pain... pain... something that you didn't feel in a dream... pain... something that you sure as hell didn't feel when you were in Heaven. Naruto completely shut down when he put two and two together, because if he was NOT asleep, and he wasn't dead... then he was both awake and alive right now. In the presence of a total stranger, in a bathtub that he did not know, and said stranger was a girl that was hugging him without shame while naked like she was happy to see him... and NO allergy.

"There have been SO many questions I wanted to ask... what's your name? What is your favorite food? How is your family? I want to know about where you live?" The girl asked, and Naruto blinked before he broke out of her hold and stood them both of straight pretty quickly with his hands on her shoulders. She blinked a few times, before she pouted at him with a sorry expression. "At least tell me your favorite food, I really want to know that." The girl almost begged, without actually begging.

"Naruto Uzumaki, I don't have a family, I live alone, and my favorite food is Miso Ramen with a ride of Red Bean Paste and a glass of milk." Naruto explained, because right now he was going to follow his mother's style and just go with the flow as she had always told him. When you had no idea what was going on, it was always best to just let go of your worries and try and relax yourself into the situation before trying to rush yourself out of it. Thinking with a clear, if not slightly stupid, head was always better than rushing into something.

"Oh! That is nice Naruto Uzumaki, my name is Miharu Sena Kanaka." Miharu greeted, and Naruto grinned lightly at how... awesome this girl was. Here he was, in her bath, and she was naked without freaking out like Kirie would have other this. She didn't even activate his allergy like Kirie would when she handed his ass to him over an accident like this!

"Just call me Naruto then Miharu." Naruto said with a laugh, before he started to look down at her breasts again without much shame. Now that he knew this wasn't a dream, he would keep his hands to himself unless given permission, but he sure as HELL was not going to miss out of the perfect ogle chance like this! His hot blooded male blood was demanding that he gaze upon this pink haired goddess given the form of a soft fleshed female with a great attitude, and a sever lack of modesty.

"Okay then Naruto... so where do you come from?" Miharu asked, and Naruto chuckled lightly at the rather normal question despite this situation, before he decided that he would give one of his more normal replies to being in a strange situation.

"I come from the planet Earth, Japan to be exact." Naruto said with a slightly sarcastic tone to his voice, and Miharu's face lit up with a bigger smile than before.

"WOW! You came from Earth, that is amazing!" Miharu said, and Naruto started to deadpan at how she was rolling with this joke so convincingly. He had no clue why she was acting like she was so surprised, but he had to admit that it was so adorable that she was able to make even him believe that he was on some sort of different planet or something.

"Okay then, if this isn't Earth, then where am I?" Naruto asked while going along with this joke, and Miharu lit up and grabbed Naruto's hand. With a surprising amount of physical strength this girl, who was at least a few inches shorter than him, and while he wasn't that tall himself, he wasn't that short either. He was admittedly around average height for his age group, around 165 cm tall. A good respectable height if he would say so himself, since he was tall by the standerds of most of the people in his country. This girl thought couldn't be more than 152 cm tall, but with a stunning figure like hers you barely even notices... it wasn't like she was midget, just a little below the average height.

The fact that she, who had thin womanly arms, could drag him around was pretty stunning. He wasn't amazingly buff, but he had lean and cut muscles from his hard work at doing everything for himself, and working out at his own home.

"Welcome to Seiren, the Blue Forest Metropolice!" Miharu greeted again when she pulled him into the living room, and in front of the window to show Naruto something that took his mind RIGHT away from the hot naked girl.

Blue.

EVERYTHING seemed to be blue. The water obviously, but even the trees and most of the pants were blue. The building in the city were a light blue, and the pavement was a strange shade of light blue. He was absolutely amazed, mostly because there was no place on Earth like this, otherwise he would have heard about it by now.

"Holy... this place is amazing." Naruto whispered in awe, before he heard Miharu giggling as she leaned over the edge of the balcony, despite her being naked, and pointed up towards the sky with a slim finger.

"I think you are amazing, I have never met somebody from Earth before. It always just seems so far away, but also so close." Miharu said with a dreamy sigh, so looking where she was pointing Naruto's jaw dropped when he saw his own blue planet in the sky.

"... This..." Naruto was barely able to say, and what could he say? He was on a whole new planet, that surprisingly spoke the same language weirdly enough, with his original planeyt just sitting there in the sky, even though that should be impossible. Everything he knew, the few he loves, and those that he was close to were all billions of miles away from him now.

True, he didn't have much going for him back on Earth, but he still had his godfather and Kirie... who was mad at him right now.

"I know, its so pretty right. When you first started appearing in my bathtub, I had idea that you were from Earth... I have always wanted to go there." Miharu said lightly, a gentle smile on her face as she looked up towards the mostly blue planet in the sky. Naruto smiled at her pure expression, not one that was tainted by other kinds of dark thoughts. She just wanted to genuinely go to Earth. "I wonder what kind of food they have there?" Miharu said when her stomach growled a little, and Naruto chuckled.

'I guess she thinks with her stomach.' Naruto thought with a light smirk, remembering how she had wanted to know the name of his favorite food more than anything else. She seemed to be the kind of girl that could at anything she wanted without gaining weight, though, all of that food did seem to go straight to her boobs if Naruto wanted to be honest... and he wanted to be very honest.

"OH! How about I cook for you something to eat! I bet some of Seiren's food would cheer you right up!" Miharu said without really asking him anything, because moments later she started to rush towards where he thought her room moght be so that she could get dressed to start cooking.

'Cooking from another planet, this could be a great chance for me.' Naruto though slightly sadly, because even though his dream was always to be the best chef in Japan, and then oneday the world, he didn't want to abandon his one friend along the way. Even if she could be an abusive bitch, she always did say she was sorry when she realized that she had gone to far... and sometimes Naruto was at fault as well for making a really stupid comment when he should have kept his mouth shut.

He earned his beating about... 30 to 40 percent of the time. Though he only earned them AFTER she was already mad at him.

Anyway, this was a great chance for him to learn cooking from another world, and study the different foods that a new world would provide. What aspiring cook would dream to give up on such an amazing chance, something that only happened once in a... well this has never really happened before so it was literally a chance to die for!

'I'm sorry Kirie, but I might not be able to return home even if I wanted to. I hope you don't hate me if the last time we see each other is under bad conditions.' Naruto thought to himself as he mentally prepared himself to have to start a new life in this world. He was not naive, he was a pervert, a push over, and good cook, and loyal to a fault, but he was NOT naive. He knew, and as ready, for the fact that it may be possible that he could never return home.

Naruto looked down at the city and his eyes raked through the women... the women... the women?

Why the fuck was he ONLY seeing women?!

_**Chapter End!**_  
_**Please Leave Me Lots Of Nice Long Reviews, But No Flames Please!**_


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